In a recent FiveThirtyEight poll, 60 percent of men surveyed said society puts pressure on men to behave in a way that is unhealthy or bad. Men account for 80 percent of suicides in the United States, and three in ten American men have suffered from depression. Ed Adams and Ed Frauenheim say a big part of the problem is a model of masculinity that's become outmoded and even dangerous, to both men and women.
The conventional notion of what it means to be a man--what Adams and Frauenheim call "Confined Masculinity"--traps men in an emotional straitjacket; steers them toward selfishness, misogyny, and violence; and severely limits their possibilities. As an antidote, they propose a new paradigm: Liberating Masculinity. It builds on traditional masculine roles like the protector and provider, expanding men's options to include caring, collaboration, emotional expressivity, an inclusive spirit, and environmental stewardship.
Through hopeful stories of men who have freed themselves from the strictures of Confined Masculinity, interviews with both leaders and everyday men, and practical exercises, this book shows the power of a masculinity defined by what the authors call the five Cs: curiosity, courage, compassion, connection, and commitment. Men will discover a way of being that fosters healthy, harmonious relationships at home, at work, and in the world.
Dr. Ed Adams
After earning his doctor of psychology degree from Rutgers University, Ed Adams began a private practice in psychology. Years later, Ed recognized a need to reinvent his life. As a consequence, he left that group practice to pursue a coexisting career in painting and sculpture. People were dismayed that he would leave a thriving psychological practice to “become an artist.” Some believed Ed was “nuts” for making that decision or “irresponsible” to pursue a dream without assurance of a good income from his art. But in time, he opened his own art gallery to show and sell his works of art.
Today, Ed’s work is in collections worldwide, including at Rutgers University and Hebrew University in Israel; Steven Spielberg owns one of his sculptures. Looking back, Ed reports that the science and art of psychology and the art ofmaking images are intertwined and have brought him deep fulfillment.
In fact, now, three decades later, Ed shudders at the thought of not having listened to those creative longings within his soul. He understands that the thread that ties everything together for him is creativity. Psychotherapy is creative. Art is creative. Indeed, becoming more fully human is creative.
Over the past decades, the art of psychotherapy with individual men, Ed’s presidency of Division 51 (Men and Masculinities) of the American Psychological Association (APA), and the founding of Men Mentoring Men have focused his creative interests toward assisting other men to build more satisfying and meaningful lives. Ed found a way to do this both by blending psychology with art.
Ed’s first book, Becoming a Happier Man: A Man’s Guide to Living a Full and Meaningful Life (BookBaby, 2017) identifies the elements present when a man can say, “I am a Happy Man.” In the book, Ed illustrated each ingredient with one of his paintings.
As you might guess, the decision to coauthor Reinventing Masculinity was fueled by Ed’s need to create and contribute something of deep value. The central point of this effort was to create a book that could become a conduit for freeing other men (and women) to discover their soulful yearnings and express their many personal dimensions. And to that end, Reinventing Masculinity: The Liberating Power of Compassion and Connection is a creative act built upon the psychology of men.
Ed lives in in the river town and arts community of Lambertville, New Jersey, with his wife, Marilee Adams, author and CEO of the Inquiry Institute, and their two dogs, Cloe and Bodhi. Ed welcomes your thoughts, questions, and suggestions at info@ReinventingMasculinity.com. Ed can also be reached at his practice website.
Ed Frauenheim
Ed Frauenheim has wrestled with what it means to be a man for four decades. In his personal and professional lives. As a young man, an adult, a father. As an observer of the best workplaces in the world. As cofounder of a group trying to reinvent organizations.
This book attempts to weave all these threads together. The “man-rules” Ed grew up with weren’t a good fit. Be strong? Ed was skinny. Dominate others? He lost his one fist fight in sixth grade. Just win, baby? He often froze during key moments of hockey, basketball, and soccer games.
The traditional male obsessions with winning, with brute strength, with becoming king of the corporate hill haunted Ed for much of his life. But through personal reflection, mindful practices, and plenty of help, he has come to redefine as worthy traits like emotional sensitivity, exuberance, and camaraderie. He’s living a fuller life as a result—and hopes he’s become a better husband and father to his two teens.
Ed’s progress as a man owes partly to interviewing and learning about some of the most admirable men in business. Ed is an author who has written about organizations, leadership, and society for more than two decades. He currently serves as senior director of content at research and advisory firm Great Place to Work. Ed also cofounded the Teal Team,a small group aiming to help organizations evolve into more democratic, purpose-driven, soulful places.
Ed has cowritten three other books, including A Great Place to Work for All: Better for Business, Better for People, Better for the World. In that book and other content, Ed has explored how our more-complex, interconnected economy is calling on men to break free of a narrow version of masculinity.
While a culture war rages in the mass media over what it means to be a man, Ed has contributed to a less-visible though vibrant conversation in the world of work. He has observed a growing consensus in the business world that men must shift from being rigid, cold, and isolated to flexible, warm, and connected. Ed has sought to bridge these conversations to show how men are reinventing masculinity at work.
Ed isn’t done wrestling with what it means to be a man. But it’s less a fight than a dance these days. And he hopes to help other men feel freer as they move through the world.